To you,
Every now and then I scroll through one of my social media feeds and I see someone announcing some great accomplishment i.e.: getting a new job, buying a new apartment, or getting engaged. It seems like everyone is taking giant life-changing leaps in their lives while the most exciting thing happening to me is Yara Shahidi liking my tweet. Though I can genuinely say I am happy to see my friends achieving their goals and living their lives to the fullest, it’s still enough for me to look up at the sky and yell “did you forget about me up there?” (in my backyard, when no one is around, of course).
So here are 10 things you should do when you’re feeling stranded on the struggle bus:
Do not and I repeat, DO NOT, compare yourself.
Do not compare your journey to anyone else’s. The moment you do is the moment you stop working on yours.
Gina Rodriguez
Remember that everyone has problems they’re dealing with too, even if you don’t see them.
In the movie of our lives, it’s natural for us to display our highlight reels. Rarely do we ever show the mess we are dealing with behind the scenes because let’s be real, it’s not exactly Insta-worthy. Remember that when you’re looking at everyone else’s highlight reels online, you have no idea what they could be going through so don’t assume otherwise.
Fake it till’ you become it.
In Amy Cuddy’s book Presence she talks about faking the feeling of power until you feel powerful. Its pretty simple! Just stand with your feet apart at shoulder length width and place your hands on your hips like you’re Wonder Woman. Stand like this for 120 seconds, puff up your chest a little and smile. Cuddy says doing this once a day can help you fake the feelings of being powerful until eventually you won’t have to fake it anymore.
Be grateful.
Sometimes things don’t go our way and that’s okay. Whenever I feel unfulfilled or disappointed about where I might be in life, I refer back to my “grateful list.” If you’re a fan of The Secret than you might know what I’m talking about. Basically I just keep an ongoing list of things I’m grateful for, like my home, my mom, the fact that I can walk and breathe normally! It constantly reminds me of the things I have rather than the things I don’t.
Self- evaluate where you are and where you want to be.
Take a look at what’s going on in your life presently. Are your relationships healthy? Do you like your job? Are you making time for the things you love to do? If you answered no to any of these questions than you have some changes to make. You deserve to be as happy as the people you see on your feed so think about what you need to do to get there.
Use it as motivation.
Want to hear a secret? I’m a very competitive person. Sometimes it gets me in trouble but sometimes it works to my advantage. It makes me want to work harder to win at my goals. Take what you’re seeing and let it fuel you, use all that negative energy you may be harboring (like envy, self-doubt) and turn it into something beautiful.
Smile and say congratulations.
This can sometimes be the hardest thing to do while riding the struggle bus. Especially when people are shoving their accomplishments down your throat. Just smile, say a quick congrats and move on. It’s understandable to feel a little bitter when you feel you deserve great things too but you will have those great things happen to you in the future, and those same people will be saying congrats to you!
Make yourself a priority.
While riding the struggle bus, low self-esteem can play a huge factor. Tune out the world and ask yourself “what do I need?” A shower? A day with my friends? A nap? Take care of your mind and body. Making sure we’re #1 on our own list is the first step to growing back our confidence.
Take a break from social media.
This one is for those of you who are experiencing the downsides of social media. According to a study from Lancaster University, people who compare themselves to others online are more likely to feel depressed. Sometimes we just need to step away from all those social media posts and focus on ourselves.
Don’t give up.
I know, it’s super cliche to say, but seriously! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to give up and right when I felt like I was about to, something unexpected happened. For ex.: After college, I went on this spree of networking to find my own sort of mentor and though I made contacts a lot of them stopped answering my emails or not responding to my LinkedIn messages. I was so over it. But then someone answered me! And he even helped me try to get a job by sending my resume to his own connections. He ended up being so much more help than I expected. So don’t give up! Your miracle might be right around the corner, and who knows? It might be even better than you thought!
From,
Me 💌
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